Makeshift Family
by novemberthescorpion
Summary: Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.
1. Chapter 1

**Fandom:** Kuroko no Basket

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance,

**Pairing:** Aomine/Kise

**Summary:** Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.

**Warning: **OOC-ness everywhere, Aomine/2!Kise, foul language (tsk tsk Aomine), shounen-ai

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters.

**A/N:** Inspired by a multitude of fanart depicting a mini Kise.

* * *

Momoi Satsuki let out yet another exasperated sigh – her sixteenth to be precise, she counted- as she slumped ungracefully onto the park bench closest to her. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, nearly cloudless azure sky coupled with a gentle breeze that kept one cool despite the blazing summer heat, perfect for going out to stalk a certain Kuroko Tetsuya with her partner in crime, Kise.

And yet she had to spend the entire half a day chasing a very pissed Aomine around Tokyo. "I'm the one who should be pissed." She muttered slightly under her breath as memories of her stressful morning came flooding back to her. It has began to dawn on her that a good three-quarter of her life revolved around taking care of the boy and taking care of a high school boy who was just as responsible as the sun was hot equated to taking care of one oversized baby.

"Forgive me for being nosy but," a smooth, gentle voice snapped her out of her thoughts, "Why is a lady as beautiful as yourself spoiling your perfect face with a scowl as hideous as the one you're wearing now?"

Momoi whipped around only to be nearly blinded. The man standing behind her had neatly combed long jet-black hair. She was more surprised to see that he was wearing a tuxedo, pin on rose and leather shoes included, despite the heat of summer apparently not caring that he was as out of place in the park as a penguin had business in the Sahara desert. He emitted an aura of golden sparkling flakes which shone like light bulbs. Momoi wondered if he worked in a host club.

Of course she never meant to go around spilling her problems to a complete stranger she'd just met in the park. It's not only very personal but also very rude. So when he asked her a question like he just did, Momoi decided to do what any other person would do, nod her head don a fake smile and lie about her state of mind. The words that poured out of her lips though astonished her to no end.

"It's just that I wish Dai-chan would stop being so irresponsible and start caring for my interests every once in a while." She started and found herself unable to stop. "That guys also skipping practices and matches, causing trouble for the team. And when I try to do something about it, just fix him up a little, he gets all mad and extra rebellious."

She continued to whine citing examples of her childhood friend's brash acts just as well as she could cite the list of Kuroko's favourite brand of underwear. When she was finished, though, she felt a heavy weight being lifted from her shoulders.

"Then," The man said after a slight pause, "Would you like me to change him for you, to turn him into a man that will induce your lovely smiles instead of your unsightly frowns?"

Momoi wasn't sure how to react to this question. She was tied between laughing at his complete cheesiness and bewildered by the strange proposal. Hesitantly she nodded her head slightly and whispered a soft "I suppose."

"Which means you're willing to entire a contract with me, am I correct?"

"Errr… yes?" Momoi answered uncertainly wondering to herself if the man had escaped from a mental asylum somewhere.

"Done deal. We have now entered a contract that will bind us more than just physically, but also spiritually such that we may feel the same joy and experience the same pain. Now, your wish is for Dai-chan, real name Aomine Daiki to become a mature, responsible teenager, affirmative?"

Momoi really lost it at this point. She just wanted to scream and run away, report this weirdo to the police while she's at it. But still, as if drawn by some invisible force, she did nothing but nod.

"Yes, my lady." The man smirked a little at his statement and vanished into thin air. Momoi justified everything she had just witnessed as a figment of her imagination, got up and proceeded to find the nearest clinic.

* * *

Aomine Daiki can safely say he's witnessed a lot of incredible things throughout his rather short life on Earth. To begin with, there is the entire Generation of Miracles with their ridiculously miraculous skill sets which were not exactly the most normal thing on this planet.

So, naturally, he was more than just shocked when he came home one Saturday evening to find a fully grown man climbing into his house via the living room window. Not to mention how said grown man was dressed as if he'd just walked straight out of that Victorian era drama his neighbour adored so much she felt complied to blast it on TV every night so that her neighbours may enjoy it too. Plus, he had, slung around his neck, a towel which obviously contained something judging from how this bulge was moving around.

Questions invaded his head immediately and his mouth had a hard time deciding which he wanted to ask first. Finally he settled with the oh-so-classic yet moderately effective, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

"Your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman of course, can't you tell? This is my spider web." The man replied coolly while gesturing to the piece of string dangling outside Aomine's window.

"Who could tell you dumbass!" Aomine retorted. "And what the hell are you doing in my house?"

The man shook his head and clicked his tongue. "You, my dear friend, are in dire need of a lesson on etiquette, burdening a young maiden is quite ungentlemanly of you. Also, you could take better care of your area of residence."

"Hah? Hey listen here whoever you are I-"

"YOU are an irresponsible high school brat and by the wishes of the lovely maiden, Satsuki, I will teach you to take better care of yourself and everything around you using this." The man said dropping the little bundle around his neck onto Aomine's hands.

'Satsuki? Lovely maiden? Has this man lost his screws? Well judging by that appearance he probably has but-' A sharp squeal caught his attention. The towel in his arms started to wiggle vigorously and tiny little sobs could be heard.

Unwrapping the towel, he found a little blonde boy with large sunset yellow eyes. Aomine felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him but simply brushed it away. The boy stopped his sobbing at once and blinked a few times at the tanned teen in front of him. Then he broke into a gigantic smile. So much sunshine and rainbows was leaking out of the boy it could have transformed the scenery into a meadow.

"The boy will be the judge. When I next come to pick him up, he will tell me if you've indeed learnt your lesson or not. Should you choose not to take me seriously, or fail to reach the objective when the time comes, this is a good example."

As soon as he finished speaking, Aomine could feel a giant surge of electricity hit him as his every part of his body was burning with pain. Feeling exhausted, he dropped to his knees to use the floor as support. His dark skin was, if possible, charred to an even darker shade and his hair stood frazzled. The little boy looked at his with concerned eyes.

"That little guy there is a bit of a shocker isn't he?" The man could not stop a sadistic smile from playing on his lips.

He was halfway out the window when he stopped to add in one more line. "Also the contractor is not supposed to learn of this. If she does it's an immediate "Game Over" for you. Got it?" He didn't stick around to hear Aomine's reply. It wasn't even a question to begin with.

After a few minutes of stunned silence, with the exception of Aomine's panting from that ordeal, Aomine looked at the boy. "So…" He started, "I'm going to have to take care of you huh?"

The boy nodded. Aomine groaned. But he should probably get this over and done with as soon as possible, all that electricity is no good for the body. Damn that Satsuki.

"So what's your name?"

"Kise Ryouta!" The boy beamed, happy to announce his name.

_Oh boy._

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. So this is the beginning to my (hopefully) weekly updated series fic (Sundays maybe). No promises since schools an ass though. I've checked it a few times but there may still be mistakes lingering around, let me know. And note that English isn't my mother tongue. Well spot the references, they aren't exactly subtle. Comments and constructive criticisms will be greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Kise Ryouta would make for a very efficient alarm clock. That's the first thing Aomine thought of when he was rudely woken by said little boy, jumping on his abdomen. Layers of sleep peeled from his eyes long enough for him to make out the pixilated digits on his clock. 05:18. Oh how he had prayed for everything to be a dream. It was a living nightmare.

"Play with me."

The teenager let out a groan as he turned towards the wall, effectively pushing Kise off as a result. "Too early, go play with yourself. I think there's a pile of Horikita Mai somewhere there." He mumbled while making a wild gesture to the next room.

There was silence for a while and Aomine was just drifting back to sleep when a horrible realization dawned upon him. He had just asked a five year old boy to play with himself in the worst possible context. Mighty fine example of stupidity right there, Daiki. He immediately jumped out of bed and bolted towards Kise's direction.

By the time he got to the room, Kise was already dangerously close to his Horikita Mai pile. No worries that he's already standing knee deep in porn books and had probably already seen more boobies than normal babies his age from the books strewn across his floor. Given the way babies obtain food, that would be a lot of experience for the child.

Aomine used his height to his advantage and quickly lifted the curious boy from the floor and carried him out of the room. Safe. No, not yet.

Witnessing the slight but definitely unusual panic in his guardian's motions, Kise's interest in the object called 'Horikita Mai' went from just piqued to severely amplified. "I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see!" He squealed, struggling futilely against Aomine's very firm grip. He threw random punches and kicks but all that did was make Aomine extend his arm further away from him, the grip around Kise's waist was still tight.

"Stop struggling. Hey! No! Kise!" Aomine was losing his patience, Kises's useless attempts did not let up. Man, he had to do something, anything, to direct Kise's attention to something else.

"You can't see Mai without a special password." He blurted. It was an old trick in the book that he remembered falling for in the past. Whether it worked or not didn't matter, right now Aomine just wanted to find a nice big hole to jump in, forever hiding from human company while he rots in embarrassment.

Thankfully, it seemed to have effect. "Why?" Kise asked, eyes large and head titled slightly to the side.

"That's because she's a fairy."

"What's a fairy?"

"Fairies grant the wishes of good kids, didn't you know. And," He paused for dramatic effect, "If you're good enough, they'll give you special permission to see them. But if you keep looking for them, they tend to get scared and run away."_ Oh just put me stark naked on top of the Eiffel Tower, why don't you._

"Then I'll be a good kid!" Kise announced cheerily. It looked like he has really steeled himself to walk the path of discipline. Aomine heaved a sigh, that's one crisis narrowly avoided and approximately eighteen hours of the day left. All that adrenaline left him unable to go back to sleep.

As the excitement ebbed away, Kise was overcome by a new sensation. Hunger. He tugged at his guardian's sleeve to draw his attention. "I want to eat."

At the statement, Aomine realized he himself was hungry. Still carrying Kise, he walked towards the kitchen and with one hand, opened the fridge door to check its contents. There wasn't very much left. He passed the carton of milk to Kise and using his other hand, took out a box of cereals.

With a couple of bowls and spoons, Aomine had breakfast sloppily made in half a minute. _Oh simplicity_. His second problem of the day came exactly ten minutes after waking up. Kise was apparently not too good, as a matter of fact, not any good at feeding himself. Cereal flakes were sprinkled in every direction within a five meter radius while splashes of milk made hideous splotches on the table and floor. The boy himself had the lower part of his face painted white with milk and his shirt was drenched.

He needs new clothes. Aomine realized as he recalled that the child had no other possessions aside from the clothes he was wearing when they first met, clothes now completely dirtied.

Sighing, he moved to grab a towel before wiping the boy's face, although in his case it was more or less just ramming the towel into his face with no sense of delicacy. After some thought, he decided to help the little boy eat. Really, now he would have to clean up the mess. _Splendid._

Throwing a glance at the clock on the wall, he caught sight of the calendar sitting on the coffee table. 17th June. He suddenly recalled a pre-arranged appointment with the other hyperactive noisy blonde in his life. The _other_ Kise Ryouta.

Sure it wasn't really his fault that his school was holding their cultural festival that weekend but the timing was seriously inconvenient. The blonde had been pestering him the whole of last week to come watch his class role-play Snow White and the Seven Dwarves- with Kise as Snow White, naturally. All that effort wasn't really needed though, Aomine would have gone anyway. Embarrassing as it was the tanned teen actually had a-

"NOOO! Shut up!"

"Aomine please refrain from breaking the fourth wall. Now I shall continue."

"No way in hell!"

"Wow that was so uncharacteristic of you. Please go back now. Thank you."

Embarrassing as it was the tanned teen actually had a crush on his bubbly ex-teammate.

"Ok but just so we're clear; I'm NOT a pedophile."

"The wall! God dammit. And I'm sure that idea didn't cross anyone's mind so BACK!"

Aomine Daiki would have gone to watch Kise's performance one way or the other, with or without the latter's knowledge just because he likes to see him. Well since he needed to go buy Kise some clothes anyway, might as well do it while they were out. And it would help relieve some of Kise's boredom. Hey why kill two birds when you can kill three.

With rediscovered enthusiasm, the two set off. First stop: the mall. It was only halfway through did Aomine realize malls do not open until ten at best. It was still 06:23.

* * *

Kise sat anxiously backstage as the rest of the crew spent the remaining time fixing up the little details with the lighting and sound while the other actors were staring at their scripts reading, re-reading and re-re-reading their lines over again. His own role wasn't very complex, all he really had to do was run from a huntsman, clean up a house then pretend to fall unconscious. He wasn't really concerned with the acting.

What was more troubling was turnout. From the sounds, he could already make out five sixth of the attendees to be girls. None of them would care about theatrical mastery. He wondered if his friends and fellow club members would come. He did send invites to everyone he considered close but as usual, most turned out disappointing.

Midorima replied him with a cold "Go kill yourself." An unpleasant upgrade from the previous "Go die." Kuroko and Kagami both had extra training from their devil of a coach. Murasakibara had asked what snack stores would be set-up. Kise had spent much effort into finding out that information but Murasakibara declined immediately when he heard that all the stores would be selling typical culture festival food. Akashi was in Germany doing god knows what, not to mention how he's charging Kise for the international call.

Momoi had agreed but suddenly called him in the morning to tell him she was sick. Somehow, she had hallucinated meeting a strange man in the park. In the end it boiled down to Aomine. He would come. Despite what everyone said about him being an arrogant prideful prick, he was not someone who would go back on his word.

Finally it was time for the show to start. The whisperings faded into silence, the lights were turned off and the curtains were opened. Kise prepared to step out.

Scanning the audience as they moved from scene to scene, Kise could not spot his friend amongst the sea of faces. Perhaps it was too dark. Aomine was rather tan. What happened next caught everyone by surprise. A little boy who looked at most five climbed onto the stage.

At first glance, people thought it was one of the dwarves. The dwarves weren't supposed to debut for another two scenes. Someone's child? Kise noticed the child was sobbing, so he bent down to comfort him.

"There, there what's wrong?" Kise coaxed, patting the boy gently on the head.

"Papa."- was all the child said as he burst into more tears. So the child was lost. Apparently, the scene must have been very appealing somehow because the entire audience burst into fits of girlish giggles and squeals.

Kise gently scooped up the child, briefly wondered why he smelt like milk, before leaving the stage to find the child's parents. He could hear his entire class protesting but it was soon drowned by the creaming fangirls who were more than supportive of Kise finding the parent of the adorable little boy.

"What does your father look like?"

"Big." That was completely useless. Instead, Kise decided to lift him onto his shoulders to give him a wider scope. He could feel the child turning around to look but there was no signs of him finding what he was looking for.

* * *

Somewhere not too far away, Aomine was frantically searching for a little ball of problems called Kise Ryouta. He just looked away for a second and the child had disappeared. _Shit._

Helooked around, he even tried calling but that just sent most girls' eyes on him as they thought part-time model Kise was in their midst. _Double shit._

At last, he caught sight of someone familiar, Kise and sitting on his shoulders was well, Kise. Talk about Kiseception. He dashed over.

"PAPA!" a shrill voice called out to him. One pair of sunset coloured eyes was staring at him with relief and excitement while just slightly lower, another pair was staring at him with confusion. _Boy, this would take a while._

"Yo." He waved nervously to the blonde teen. Little Kise leaped over from his position on Kise's head into Aomine's arms.

"Aominecchi, you have a child? Why didn't you tell me? Who's the mother? What's his name?" As Kise's initial confusion vanished, a string of questions came pouring out from his mouth and Aomine had a hard just keeping up.

"I'll explain later ok." Aomine growled as a crowd of curious on lookers had started to gather. Kise nodded although he was not in favour of the idea at all. "By the way, you look pretty good in a dress."

"Oh no I think it's the make-up."

Aomine felt like face palming but carrying a baby prevented him from doing so. Meanwhile Kise who was being cradled but ignored in Aomine's arms felt a slight pang of jealousy. The way his guardian looks at the other, it was so obvious that he cared a lot for that person and Kise wasn't a fan of that. No, his father was looking at someone else. That he didn't like.

Puffing his cheeks, he tugged at the sleeve of the blonde teen's dress then he said, "Papa is mine."

Aomine could feel a blush creep slowly to his cheeks. Really now, how did one turn out so sharp and the so blur? Kise didn't seem to understand what the kid meant as he merely stared blankly for a couple of seconds before saying, "Well, he is you father, right?"

Aomine ran a mental checklist of his problems: 1) He was forced to take care of a little kid because of Satsuki. 2) Aforementioned little kid is a big pain in the ass. 3) Kid is jealous of his crush. 4) Kid _still_ needs new clothes.

And there was fourteen hours left of the day.

* * *

A/N: Hey thanks for reading. This update is pretty long by my standard. Also I hope it wasn't too confusing with the double Kises. I've checked through it for mistakes but might have missed something, let me know. Once again comments and constructive criticisms are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fandom:** Kuroko no Basket

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance,

**Pairing:** Aomine/Kise

**Summary:** Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.

**Warning: **OOC-ness everywhere, Aomine/2!Kise, foul language (tsk tsk Aomine), shounen-ai

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters.

* * *

Midorima Shintarou was a tsundere which meant he was naturally inclined to lie about his true feelings. So when he turned down his ex-teammate's invitation to his school's cultural festival, what he really meant was: Sure, I'll go but **ONLY** because I happened to be walking by and happened to have **nothing** better to do. Not that we're close or anything. Absolutely. Positively. Not.

"Are you absolutely sure this lucky item of yours is somewhere around here?" Takao grumbled as he pedaled the rickshaw laboriously.

"Yeah I'm positive." Midorima replied nonchalantly.

"Well, if you say so…" Takao sighed, pulling the rickshaw up in front of a school. Last he checked though, high school cultural festivals did not sell rubberized ducks. Still, he said nothing. Really now his partner was such a terrible liar. It wasn't like he hadn't accidentally seen the text that blonde Kaijou kid had sent to his teammate while he was in the showers.

Takao seriously doubted it was coincidence they were now parked in front of that very school.

Inside, the school was a mess of people flurrying madly as they moved from one booth to the next, trying to maximize their experience. Takao scanned the crowd quickly- quite literally given his talent to see large areas- looking for that one particular blonde.

"Takao san?" A voice caught his attention. Takao turned to find a certain Kasamatsu Yukio whom he recalled meeting in the Okonomiyaki restaurant sometime after their loss to Seirin in the Interhigh preliminaries. He really did respect him as a fellow point guard although he had ulterior motives for striking conversation with him in the past. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, we're looking for Shin-chan's friend. That guy on your team, Kise."

Almost immediately, Midorima began muttering about how he and Kise weren't friends, that he was really only here for his lucky item- Kasamatsu raised his eyebrows at this- and how he did not approve of the nickname Takao had bestowed upon him.

"Oh if you're looking for Kise, his class should be at the hall now, they're doing a play. Ah, I'll bring you guys there since I'm going there myself."

Takao briefly thought about how Midorima could learn a thing or two regarding sincerity from Kasamatsu, chuckling slightly at the idea as he proceeded to follow the guy. Midorima tagged along too albeit very unhappily and he was grumbling the whole time.

* * *

Just outside the school hall, Kise and Aomine had attracted a good deal of attention. Well, it wasn't very hard considering Kise's status within the school and some followers of the basketball scene recognizing Aomine. It didn't help at all that the latter was carrying a child who seemed to be attracting as much attention as his older counterpart. Both Kises seemed to like the attention, waving and smiling like idiots. What Aomine wouldn't give to borrow Kuroko's misdirection right now. Still, he wasn't about to get swept away by the cheering crowd.

"We're running."

Within seconds of his sudden announcement he dashed off one hand hugging the child firmly against his chest while the other grabbed onto the teen's hand, pulling him along. Well, when it came to speed it was almost a given that Kise and Aomine, mad basketball geniuses, would be able to make a quick getaway- if they knew where they were going.

Kise had just barely registered Aomine's words when he felt himself being lead away by the guy. He could immediately sense that Aomine had no idea where he was going given that he was leading them straight to the canteen area where there would be even more people gathering around. So Kise took it upon himself to properly navigate them, it was his school after all.

Wrong. Kise was one of those people who would get lost in a school he's attended for a little over a year. He brought them in circles around the school compound passing every corner from the entrance to the car park to the various athletic fields scattered around.

Finally, they arrived the academic block, found an empty classroom and bolted inside, locking the door after them.

"Are you sure you actually attend this goddamn place?" Aomine huffed, not at all pleased with having been made to run laps on an off day.

"That was fun let's do that again!" The child exclaimed excitedly.

Kise pouted in response. "So what's with the child?" He asked in between large pants for air.

"Well Kise," he started, lifting the child up and placing him on a desk, "meet Kise Ryouta." Both Kises looked at him with bewildered expressions. "This is confusing. Ok from now on I'll address you as Kise and you as Ryouta, kapeesh?"

"Aomine took a deep breath before briefly giving Kise the details. He did not know how Kise would react to the news but he did not expect to see his friend completely paralysed, skin paled to the point where he resembled a ghost. Had it been that shocking?

"…th..rm." Kise was barely audible. Aomine yelled at him to speak louder.

". .rm." He repeated a little clearer this time. Aomine followed Kise's gaze to the blackboard. Baby Kise turned out of curiosity as well.

That's when they saw it, sitting peacefully on the teacher's desk as if it was on a vacation of sorts, a little brown earthworm. Seeming to have noticed their gazes, it twitched slightly. The gesture made it look like it was waving at them. Memories of Kise's fear of said creature appeared in Aomine's mind as he spun around just in time to see Kise take in a sharp breath. Bad news, Kise snapped. Little Kise cried. Aomine was at a loss.

* * *

Midorima, Takao and Kasamatsu had just witnessed an incredible sight. They had been walking towards the hall when they saw the person they were looking for disappearing quickly into a classroom with Aomine in tow. What was he even doing here? And if that wasn't enough, Aomine was for some reason carrying a child with him.

The trio, in stunned confusion, mutually agreed to follow them. A flight of stairs later, what they heard made them wish they hadn't. But really, they couldn't expect much to begin with. What could they have expected by spying on a couple of panting teenagers who have locked themselves in a room?

"Hurry up Aominecchi. No, not there, here. AHHH!"

Kise's screams could be heard all too clearly from their position, crouched outside the classroom door.

"Geez stop squirming Kise. Hold still!"

This was followed by the loud crash of metal hitting cement. The trio presumed some tables or chairs might have just toppled over. Kasamatsu turned scarlet. Takao blushed. Midorima felt a large surge of blood surge to his face but he wasn't blushing, that was just plain preposterous.

"UWAAAA. I don't like it, go away!"

The trio somewhat recalled seeing a baby being carried by Aomine and assumed the unfamiliarly high pitched voice must be his. Oh the cheek of those two to show such disturbing things to a mere toddler! Someone ought to stop them but that someone wouldn't be any of the three, their legs were too rooted to the spot and their voices had already died in their throats.

"It's coming out, Aominecchi!"

"WHAAAAAAA!"

Aomine let out a loud grunt. "There we go."

* * *

Inside the classroom, Aomine had finally gotten hold of the irritating earthworm and threw it rather cruelly out the classroom window. That was one nuisance gotten rid of. In all honesty, Aomine had never seen an earthworm move like that before, squirming and slithering out of sight multiple times. Hell, it even crawled behind the cupboard once. In addition Kise's constant thrashing about and Ryouta's bawling did nothing to help. Rather, they did quite the opposite.

"There so as I was saying," Aomine started, voice level dropping back to indoor standards. "I've got to get this little guy some new clothes."

"That means you're going shopping, right?" Kise asked seeming to brighten up after his little ordeal with the earthworm.

Aomine nodded awkwardly at the sudden spike in enthusiasm. "Oh, oh, oh, can I come along Aominecchi? Can I?"

"Well yeah I guess."

"Great. Let's go." Kise beamed, pulling Aomine out of the classroom. Ryouta was still crying although it has subsided to mere sobs and he was being tugged along by Kise. It was true that Kise was a shopaholic out-shopped by no one save Momoi.

Outside, Kise noticed the three people on the floor faces completely red and jaws threatening to fall off their hinges. "You guys need to see a doctor; your faces are all red." He said, genuine concern lacing his voice. If only he knew how dishevelled he looked in their eyes. Aomine was quick on the pick-up though and he had Kise separated from the group in seconds. Kise briefly wondered what that been about but the thought was quickly dismissed with the prospect of shopping.

"That's right, senpai can you help me inform my class that I'll be going out for a little while."

And with that, they were gone.

* * *

Letting Kise shop was a horrible idea for two reasons. First of all Kise seemed to command a large amount of attention and the salesladies are reduced to a swooning mess, as if it wasn't hard enough. Secondly, Kise just couldn't stop finding more clothes. "This piece is good, wait this piece is nice too. Oh wait, that one looks cute too."

Ryouta was finding it harder and harder to hate the man; it was hard to hate someone who shared common interests after all. Before long Ryouta began sharing his own opinions on the outfits Kise chooses. More often than not, Kise agrees. They really are similar.

After a while, Aomine decides to just leave them to their own devices while he sits back on the shop provided sofa whilst inhaling his first deep breath of the day. Occasionally, Kise would bounce over to ask for his thoughts on a certain article of clothing and Aomine would just give it a quick scan before nodding, not that Kise actually took the opinion into consideration.

"Done!" Ryouta announced, climbing onto Aomine's lap. The clock on the wall showed 18:30. Behind him Kise was holding up a whole pile of clothes.

"You know I'm not Angelina Jolie, right?"

Kise dejectedly went through the pile again. Ryouta didn't quite get it. "Angwelina Jwoli?" He echoed. "Is she a fairy like Horikita Mai?"

Kise perked at the statement, recognising the name Ryouta mentioned. "No no Angelina Jolie's an actress, someone who acts in movies and TV shows." Ryouta nodded. Kise shoved a bunch of clothes into Aomine's hand. Four sets. That should be enough. He couldn't help noticing how the colour scheme was primarily blue and yellow, wondering if Kise had been implying anything. Then again, it was Kise he was talking about. Boy was probably as complex as paper.

"Did you tell him that porn star was a fairy?" Kise whispered angrily into Aomine's ear as they were making payment.

Aomine was about to mention it would have been the wisest course of action but Ryouta, whose hatred had just been reignited, was once again pulling at Kise's clothes and telling him Aomine was his.

Kise was lost again at the statement. He couldn't for the love of God understand why the child might want to tell him this. Ryouta was still in the midst of staring the older boy down when his stomach rumbled. Feeling hungry, he turned to his father to ask for food. Kise would have to wait until he was sated.

Aomine sighed, picking the boy up to head to the nearest fast food restaurant. Kise naturally invited himself.

Ryouta still had problems eating on his own but thankfully Kise was around this time. He was much more gentle and thorough than his father, not that he didn't like his father, and the small talk Kise made between bites was really making it difficult for Ryouta to hate him. He would find himself amazed by the guy one second, remember he was supposed to hate him, turn away and ignore him. Well, until he started on yet another topic that got him interested.

By the end of the meal, Kise had completely promoted himself from being on the child's 'Dislike' list to second place on the list of 'People I like'. Aomine couldn't exactly say he was shocked, Kise was very capable of leaving bad impressions yet reversing them. He would know, after all back in the day he wasn't really pumped to learn that there was some new kid joining the basketball team despite being a part-time model. How could he give it his all if he needed to preserve his face? Presently though, he has a crush on that same kid.

They bid goodbye at the front of the shopping mall and turned to go their separate ways. "Papa, when will we meet that nii-chan again?" Ryouta asked as he struggled to keep up with his father. Aomine meanwhile had just had a moment of realisation. The next day is a Monday, which means it would be a school day and something told him leaving Ryouta alone in the house would have dire consequences. He didn't notice that Ryouta was no longer following him.

In fact Ryouta was at current distracted by the sight of a dog at his feet. He bent down to pat it but the dog scampered off, dashing onto the road. "Ah wait, doggie." Ryouta called out as he chased the furry creature. Suddenly there was a bright light coming from his left. The headlights of a car were rushing straight towards him yet he couldn't move.

Kise couldn't explain what happened. One moment he had bid farewell to Aomine and Ryouta and the next, he was gripped with a terrifying fear that quadrupled his heartrate and rendered him powerless. He felt like he might die. He looked back at the two figures behind him, he only saw one. A little further though he could see Ryouta standing on the road and a car. Ryouta would get run over. His body reacted before his mind did, making a beeline for the boy. It was possible.

A few metres away, he jumped scooping the boy into an embrace before rolling off in a somersault to safety. The car had just barely missed his feet. His back and arms burned from scraping against the road and concrete whilst his front abdomen stung from landing on the tarred road. Still, he smiled triumphantly as he noted the baby was sitting safely atop his chest.

Aomine was jolted back to reality by the sharp swerving of rubber against road only to find Kise nearly getting run over by a car in an attempt to save Ryouta. He ran over immediately.

"Are you okay? Please don't die." He heard Ryouta say as he drew closer.

"It hurts a little but I'm fine, I won't die."

"Kise." Aomine said, kneeling on the ground beside them with one hand cupping Kise's cheek. He didn't know what to say. He felt angry at Ryouta for running onto the road like that but it had also been his fault for not properly looking out for him in the first place. Damn this is frustrating.

"Aominecchi."

"Nee nee, it's really painful right? Look I'll share Papa with you so please don't die. I'm sorry." Ryouta was tearing up now. Guilt. It was his fault Kise was now in this state and he would do whatever he could to reverse it.

"I'll really be ok after a while. Promise."

"Maybe you should see a doctor."

"Nah, I just need to apply some ointment."

"Come home with me."

Kise didn't really have a chance to protest because Aomine had already picked him up piggyback style, Kise flinched as his injury throbbed, and made their way to his apartment. Ryouta followed, eyes fixated on both of them as if afraid something else might happen.

Thankfully nothing did. They got home safely, Aomine tended to Kise's wounds while Ryouta did the best he could to assist him running around with bandages and ointments.

"Maybe you should stay the night."Aomine offered and as an afterthought added. "And maybe you should skip school tomorrow, you can barely stand."

Kise didn't really want to but he couldn't say that Aomine was wrong. He did have to be carried from the sofa to the bed by Aomine. And in bridal style no less. Oh, he best contact someone from school to inform them of his absence.

* * *

Kasamatsu was walking down the streets with fellow team members Moriyama and Hayakawa when his phone beeped alerting him of an incoming text.

Moriyama and Hayakawa had no idea (and would never know) why a simple text from their junior ace that read _'I won't be attending school tomorrow, my body's sore. Help me tell my class monitor k? (^.^)' _would cause their captain to faint.

* * *

**A/N: **Gosh my chapters are getting longer and longer by my standard anyway. I've had quite a few re-writes of certain segments and still can't say I'm too pleased with the results this time. At least I've finally differentiated the Kises, something I've been meaning to do last chapter. Also, I apologise for the mistakes. Comments and constructive criticisms still appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fandom:** Kuroko no Basket

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance,

**Pairing:** Aomine/Kise

**Summary:** Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.

**Warning:** **OOC-ness everywhere**, Aomine/2!Kise, foul language, shounen-ai

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters.

* * *

Aomine Daiki woke up in the morning to the incessant beeping of his mobile phone. He had fished out the electronic device from somewhere under the bed sheets with the intention of ignoring whatever message he was being sent and cursing the sender to the deepest pits of hell for interrupting his peaceful slumber, sandwiched between the wall and two Kise Ryoutas. Well, he _had _until he took one look at the sender ID and threw all those thoughts out the window. One does not simple ignore Akashi Seijuurou and for good reason too. That heterochromatic ex-captain of his was pretty infamous for having slightly violent tendencies.

'Daiki, kindly meet me at the airport as soon as you receive this message or be wary of unpleasant misgivings. –Akashi S.'

Aomine admired the way Akashi could give his texts such a formal polite façade whilst sending chills down the spine of whomever unfortunate enough to read them. But Akashi was by no means impossible to persuade as long as logic was properly used and not wanting to skip school, however untrue in Aomine's case, made for a rational argument. As if on cue, a second message arrived.

'There is no need to concern yourself with your presence at the educational institute you attend. I already had a friendly discussion with your principal. He is aware of your situation and has kindly agreed to give you the day off. Please make your way to the airport immediately. An do bring along some cash. –Akashi S.'

Aomine groaned. He was pretty sure their discussion was anything but friendly, especially when Akashi was doing the talking. He also doubted the principal would kindly give him a day off. Nonetheless he quickly brushed up and changed his clothes grabbing his breakfast, wallet, keys and phone on the way to the door. The journey to the airport would take a few hours.

"Papa? Where are you going?"

Snap. Ryouta was standing some distance away from him, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He must have woken up while Aomine was moving rather carelessly around the house.

"Go back to sleep Ryouta." He scooped up the child, bringing him back to the bed he had crawled out from. "I'm just going to school for a bit." Ryouta felt something was off and looked like he still had many things he wanted to say but having just woken up, not enough co-ordination to do so. He did clutch Aomine's pants as if not wanting to let go until he got a better answer. On the same bed, Kise stirred wincing a little as he put pressure on the injuries he sustained the night before. Ryouta turned his attention to Kise, letting go of Aomine's pants to scurry over to the other teen. His expression was a mixture of concern and guilt.

"Take care of Kise while I'm gone." The statement was an effective distraction

The boy nodded, completely not realising his guardian had yet to properly answer his question. He had other priorities now. After the incident last night, Ryouta had promised himself he would do his best to take care of the teen. It had been his curiosity which injured him after all. Kise had chuckled at the declaration, saying how he was fine.

Aomine quickly took this opportunity to leave-keeping Akashi waiting was never a good idea. Meanwhile, Ryouta had just barely registered the sound of the door closing when he had a brilliant idea. He would make breakfast for Kise as an apology. Not to mention he would be taking care of him. He called out for his father once then realised, much to his disappointment, that he was already gone.

'It's ok; I'll do this myself then!' He thought giving himself an encouraging nod before proceeding to scout the kitchen.

* * *

Akashi Seijuurou was standing by the entrance of the airport waiting for a certain Aomine Daiki to show up. He had just heard very disturbing news from Midorima whilst in Germany and had wanted to confirm it himself.

The night before, Midorima was behaving strangely during their online game of shogi. Midorima always lost but even so his moves were strategic and even though they never worked, Akashi couldn't fault Midorima's logic. Last night was a different story. Midorima seemed distracted, making stupid moves that eventually lead to his quick defeat. This greatly concerned Akashi. Midorima had been best at keeping a cool head even when provoked back during middle school something must have really bothered him and Akashi, contrary to popular belief, was actually a very caring person. Much more so when anyone he considered close enough to be a friend was concerned. So he did what any good friend would do and demanded politely inquired what the source of his friend's woes might be.

He was not expecting to learn about two other ex-teammates of his doing it in a classroom.

Sure it was not such a surprise that they were gay. Akashi prided himself for always being right, that included knowing about all the minor relationship issues going on between the members of his team. He would admit despite knowing they were bound to end up together, it was a little too soon for them to have progressed that far. Aomine would be too indirect and Kise couldn't catch on to save his life. Akashi always found it weird that Kise would be so slow when it came to affairs of the heart yet was able to pick up techniques in a flash.

He would need direct confirmation. He decided he would ask Aomine first.

From where he was standing, he could see a figure running towards him. Finally. "Long time no see Daiki." He greeted when the person was within earshot.

"What do you want?" Aomine grunted obviously annoyed although his breath was too ragged for any tone to be distinguished.

"Just a short chat, Daiki. Let's go over to the cafe over there. I would like to talk over some food."

Aomine followed apprehensively. You can never be too cautious when it came to Akashi. It wasn't until he sat down did he realise what Akashi wanted him to bring cash for.

* * *

Ryouta was trying to think of a simple recipe he could pull off, one that didn't require much culinary skill to prepare and was easy enough for his chubby little five year old fingers. He suddenly recalled when his father had made him breakfast the previous day. It didn't look too hard. Cereals and milk. Yeah that he could handle.

He quickly hopped over to the fridge and soon realised that he wasn't tall enough to open the door by himself. Not to be discouraged, he went to the living room looking for a stool to boost his height. He found one and dragged it towards the kitchen, knocking down piles of newspapers on the floor.

Positioning the stool in front of the fridge door, he climbed up and pulled. Soon he was hit by a blast of cold air. He shivered slightly looking for the carton of milk that his father had used last time. He pulled it out and settled it on the floor before proceeding to look or the cereal. When he had gathered all his provisions, he closed the fridge door and using the stool, he climbed up to the sink area to get a bowl and a spoon. He brought both items down to his little workplace on the floor.

He then did his best to mimic how his father had previously prepared the meal. First pour in the cereal then the milk. His grip wasn't very good and he had some difficulty pouring the substances into the bowl. As a result, a huge pool of milk was split onto the floor with bits of cereal floating in it ever so often. He carried the bowl and threaded as carefully as possible to the bedroom which Kise was sleeping in. Drops of milk trailed his path from the kitchen to the bedroom as the bowl's contents wished about dangerously due to Ryouta's lack of balance.

When he reached his destination, he settled the bowl on the edge of the bed before clambering on himself to wake the sleeping teen.

"Wake up. Hey, wake up." He called, poking his fingers into Kise's face.

Kise made a muffled sound as he slowly came awake. He looked around the unfamiliar room. Why? Oh. He nearly got run over by a car.

"Breakfast." Ryouta said offering the bowl to Kise.

Kise stared at it in surprise, "Did you make this?"

Ryouta nodded, feeling very proud of himself. And just a tad hungry too. Preparing breakfast had taken up a lot more energy than he thought it would. He couldn't help blushing when his stomach let out a soft rumble.

Kise chuckled at this. "You're so cute." He mused, giving Ryouta a spoonful of his own creation. "You're feeling hungry, right?"

After breakfast, Kise got up to wash the bowl even though Ryouta had insisted he would do it and boy was he shocked. The place was a mess. It was already untidy when he arrived the day before but now it looked positively worse. Kise knew Momoi came over on a fortnightly basis when his parents were not around to make sure Aomine hadn't drowned in garbage, died in his sleep or anything ridiculous like that. But how much rubbish could one pile up in a mere two weeks? A lot, apparently.

Kise promptly decided he would help Aomine clean up his house, as a token of his appreciation and gratitude. "You want to help me tidy up?" Ryouta nodded.

* * *

"So how's Ryouta?"

"Fine. Why would you ask? Ah no actually he was pretty upset after last night although it wasn't his fault."

"You guys had a fight already?" Akashi probed further, sensing something amiss in Aomine's response.

"Fight? No it's just that he…" He paused seeming to think about something for a while before he continued, "Oh, _that_ Ryouta."

"Why? Is there someone else you know by that name?" Akashi never expected Aomine to nod. Oh this would get interesting. "Care to tell me more?"

Fifteen minutes and many flying dishes later Akashi had learnt everything he needed to know about Aomine's new circumstances which pretty much encompassed everything. At this moment, the waitress came with their order. He then realised his agenda had not yet been fulfilled.

"So you and Ryouta are in a relationship now, I presume."

Aomine choked on his latte. "I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!" He screamed cheeks slightly tinted fuchsia. Everyone in the cafe turned to look at him. Realisation that Akashi was referring to other Ryouta combined with the stares from the other customers was enough to turn his cheeks a brilliant scarlet.

"You're embarrassing, Daiki. I only asked because I've been told by a very traumatised Shintarou about your- how should I put this- endeavours? With Ryouta that is."

"No way!" Aomine hissed.

"Is that true?" Akashi was waving around a pair of scissors now. Aomine anxiously leaned into the seat, as far away from the weapon he could get. How did Akashi even manage to get through security with that thing in his bag?

"I swear, there's nothing."

Akashi sighed and lowered his weapon. He knew the other male was speaking the truth. "Oh and you remember today's Kise's birthday, right?" Yes, Akashi had a habit of reminding all the members of each other's birthdays and he made it mandatory for them to at least wish them a happy birthday. It was part of team bonding at first but it slowly became a habit that even when they weren't on the same team anymore, he would still do so.

He watched Aomine's eyes widen slightly before the tanned boy bolted straight out the café doors. Akashi had never seen him run that fast before, not even on court. All that training paid off after all and Aomine had foolishly left his wallet behind. Splendid.

"Excuse me," He waved a waitress over, "What's the most expensive thing you've got here within forty bucks?"

Aomine deserved that much for causing him so much trouble. Actually, not quite. He took out his phone and dialled a number. It pays to have arranged backup beforehand.

* * *

Aomine did plan on buying Kise's birthday present over the weekend, he solemnly swore he did. Unfortunately, as Midorima would put it, fate had other plans for him. Making a straight dash for the nearest shopping district, which wasn't very far and catered mainly to tourists, Aomine thought he wouldn't run into any more problems.

Fate is a bitch.

Of all the places in Japan, he had to quite literally run into Kuroko Tetsuya and that new light of his, Kagami Taiga. Also he noted his wallet wasn't with him. He must have left it back at the café. Aomine thought he would start watching Oha Asa soon.

"Good day Aomine kun."

"Why the hell are you here?"

"I'd like to ask the same of you."

Kuroko gave a small knowing smile before saying, "Nothing much, I've just come to buy Kise his birthday present. He's been talking about this movie for months now." Kagami opened his mouth to say something but was quickly silenced with a sharp blow to the gut from Kuroko.

Aomine had forgotten how the blond practically talked to Kuroko about everything so he would know his likes and dislikes best.

"You haven't bought him his present yet have you?" He continued. Aomine could have sworn he saw Mr. Poker Face Kuroko Tetsuya smirk.

"Here. I'll be a good friend and let you have this. Kise has been going on about this movie for months now." Kuroko said, passing Aomine a rectangular neatly wrapped present. Aomine blinked a couple of times; this would be the first stroke of good luck in a very long while. He didn't notice Kuroko grinning.

"Why'd you lie like that?" Kagami asked as soon as Aomine was out of sight. "We're only here because you said you freaky ex-captain told us to pick up something and wasn't that bundle you just gave Aomine that horror movie the very thing we were supposed to pick up!"

"You're not seeing the big picture Kagami kun. Ah it would be nice to be a fly about now."

"Well, it'd be pretty funny to see Kise shrieking in fright when he watches the disc."

Kuroko stops walking. Facing his friend, he gives him a smile. The kind of smile you'd find Akashi wearing and Kagami is momentarily chilled. "But whoever said anything about Kise?"

* * *

Aomine really believed his luck was changing. The journey home had been smooth and hassle free. He had Kise's present for free no less, clutched in his arms. Akashi had said he'll return his wallet as soon as possible when he called the shorter teen. He also, freakishly enough, offered to arrange for Ryouta to be put in a kindergarten. And when he got home, he was greeted with the sight of his house spotless and tidy whilst Kise was cooking dinner in the kitchen wearing an apron.

"Mama, Papa's back!" An excited Ryouta squealed when Aomine came through the door. Aomine felt like he was already married. Since when did Ryouta address Kise as his mother?

"Aominecchi welcome back." Kise said coming out of the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready soon."

"I helped with the washing and things." Ryouta piped in. Aomine ruffled his hair.

"Oh yeah Kise I got you a present."

Kise lit up immediately, bouncing over to the tanner teen to grab his present from him. He quickly unwrapped it while murmuring a sea of 'Thank You's and couldn't be more thrilled to find that his friend had bought him a movie. Sure it was titled "Cursed" and the cover photo was pretty gruesomely stained with blood and dead bodies but Kise was content. Aomine on the other hand took one look at the cover and made a mental note to check Oha Asa the next day. Damn Tetsu.

"Let's watch it now." Kise exclaimed.

"No we don't really have to. What about dinner?" Aomine protested.

"I wanna watch. I wanna watch." Ryouta said. Aomine was pretty damn sure the movie would be at least have an NC16 rating and tried shooing Ryouta away. Ryouta would have none of it. Meanwhile Kise had already inserted the disc and was making himself comfortable on the sofa. Ryouta followed suit.

Aomine was going to eject it but the screaming started and he was very close to the screen. He paled, bouncing back immediately to the sofa and sitting down. He looked down at the floor, around, above but never directly looking at the screen. No he was not good at dealing with the supernatural unlike Kise who would be afraid at some points and then shrug it off like it was nothing.

"Aominecchi cannot stand horror movies, huh?"

"Shut up."

Kise pouted a little then he extended his arms and hooked them around Aomine's neck. Even Ryouta crawled onto his lap and hugged his torso. "Like this will be less scary, right? I used to see some guys do this in the cinema."

Aomine couldn't hear the screaming people on the screen over the sound his palpitating heartbeat. Why'd Kise have to be such a tease? His blond hair was tickling his neck and he was so close he could smell him.

"You smell delicious."

"Yeah I was cooking a while ago."

Words never got very far with Kise so he decided he would do something this time. He pulled Kise so that his face was a few centimetres away from his and leaned in. Kise instinctively closed his eyes.

"I have to pee." Ryouta announced suddenly.

Kise stood up quickly roughly pulling the child to the toilet partially embarrassed at what was about to happen a while ago and partially bewildered that his first reaction had not been to push Aomine away.

Aomine groaned and turned off the TV before he had to see anymore mutilated bodies flying around the screen. He rubbed his temples. So close.

He sent Kuroko a quick text filled with very colourful language. He also decided he would ask Akashi for the address of the kindergarten Akashi had in mind. Then he decided he would eat dinner and go straight to bed. There was still school the next day and he was really tired.

* * *

"Akashi kun the plan was a huge success."

"Excellent job, Tetsuya. Excellent job, indeed."

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter contains so much of my headcanons its like orz. There's more still and I don't feel like listing all of those down. And I also have this other relatively darker plot stuck in my head and its so hard to write something lighthearted when I'm thinking of vampires and whatnot. I think I'll write that when I'm done with this. Mistakes, comments, constructive criticisms: the usual. Wow pretty long A/N.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fandom:** Kuroko no Basket

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance,

**Pairing:** Aomine/Kise

**Summary:** Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.

**Warning: **OOC-ness everywhere, Aomine/2!Kise, foul language (tsk tsk Aomine), shounen-ai

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters.

* * *

Education. Definition according to ; the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life. Definition according to a certain Aomine Daiki; 1. the main cause of lack of sleep, stress and headaches 2. a very large pain in the ass. Especially when six high school boys with hair as colourful as the rainbow come knocking on your door in the wee hours of a holiday morning saying they're here for a group study session regarding the five months apart upcoming national exams. Yeah, highly suspect.

And highly suspect is right, given that said group was known as the Kiseki no Sedai (plus Kagami) whom with the exception of Midorima have the combined interest in studying as tiny as an ant. The members have all agreed that they were sick and tired of the relationship between their ex-teammates coming to a complete standstill despite the ever present and ever annoying passes they give each other whenever the group hung out. They also agreed they would do something about it which translates to Akashi towing the whole group, including a clueless Kise, to Aomine's house, lying through his teeth about the significant positive impact of early preparation on exam grades.

"Good morning Daiki. I hope we are not intruding."

Too drowsy to think clearly, Aomine muffled a welcome. Not a hint of suspicion in his sleep deprived state.

The group rudely made their way in and all of a sudden, Aomine jolted awake. He took one look at the group of people who have just invited themselves into his home and yelled on instinct, "What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

"We're going to study, Aomine kun." Kuroko replied blankly already pulling out his textbooks. Aomine was going to snap at the light blue haired boy for the previous incident regarding a horror movie but was immediately distracted by Murasakibara opening his fridge door.

"Mine –chin, how do you survive on so little food?" He inquired, clicking his tongue in disgust at the lack of food stuff in the large machine. Aomine was going to snap at him too but then his attention was once again shifted, this time by a two-toned red head.

"Ah but your place is unexpectedly clean." Kagami remarked, marvelled by the evident lack of rubbish as he would have imagined. Aomine sure didn't seem like the kind of person who would give a hoot about cleanliness to him.

"That would be thanks to me!" Kise piped in effectively ceasing all commotion that was being made at that time. Five eyebrows went up at once, five pairs of eyes transfixed on one blond shooting an unspoken question at him.

Midorima was the first to snap out of it. He cleared his throat to remind them of their mission and quickly had everyone ushered into Aomine's room which was also spotless and eyebrows were going up again.

With Akashi's help the little table in Aomine's room was soon brimming with articles of stationery and textbooks of every subject they could possibly take. The place was not really big and the boys had barely enough space despite squeezing two to a side, shoulders brushing and legs becoming an unidentifiable tangle under the table. With the exception of Akashi, who naturally had one side all to himself and _burrowed_Aomine's beanbag chair. "Let's begin."

* * *

English.

* * *

They decided by means of rock paper scissors, to revise English first. Everything was going along fine; the rest assumed Kagami who has been living in America for a while would have no problems and would be able to help them even if they had any questions. Only Kuroko would know how dangerously wrong such a decision would be. The rest found out at precisely 05:38 am when Kise innocently asked him the meaning of a particular word he found in the text. Conscience.

Kagami thought about it for a moment, eyebrows furrowing slightly before he said," The study of lying and deceit."

Midorima, who was sitting beside Kise, witnessed the act of stupidity and nearly choked on his canned coffee with laughter. "How did you come to such a conclusion, Bakagami?"

"Am I wrong? I was once told to break words up to understand them. This here is con-science. 'Con' being to trick and 'science' being the knowledge. In other words, conscience (and he did say con-science) is to learn about tricking people." Kagami replied.

"Idiot! Didn't you live in America? This word is conscience, as in the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives, as in I have to correct your stupidity now lest have my conscience nag at me the entire day."

Aomine snickered. Kagami grumbled. Akashi decided this early study session of theirs would actually serve its educational purposes.

"By the way I've been wondering this for a while now," Murasakibara started munching on a second bag of chips, "How did the expression 'break a leg' come to mean good luck?"

Confused looks were exchanged. "It's mainly used for actors, right? Maybe they needed an excuse to jinx their competition without downright seeming too obvious." Kise ventured after momentary silence.

"In that case wouldn't' they just go for something stronger? Like, for instance, go to hell?" Murasakibara suggested.

"I've heard that in Ancient Greece people stomped their feet instead of clapping and hence would break their legs if the performance was good." Kuroko said.

"Wouldn't it be too hard to justify something like 'go to hell'?" Aomine questioned, throwing his own two cents into the pointless conversation.

"They could use it to mean the play was so good, many people got heart attacks and died in the theatre which made them mass murders that should be sent to hell. Murdering is a serious crime." Murasakibara reasoned.

The glint of light reflecting off metal (sharp metal whose purpose was to cut objects) could be seen and matter was instantly dropped.

* * *

Biology

* * *

The gang then changed the topic to biology, one they presumed would come with less hassle seeing as the topic consisted of clear cut facts which allowed for little imaginative nonsense. They had decided to use the quiz in a circle method which is when someone gives the person on his left a question. Getting it right proves the person has been studying while getting it wrong would throw the question to the floor and warrant a penalty given by the questioner.

"Then Kise, state the enzyme that breaks down starch in the mouth." Midorima asks sounding very much like he was a vocal assessment book with his monotone questioning voice.

"Salivary amylase?" Kise replies unsurely. He didn't really have a knack for remembering facts all that well. Thankfully, Midorima nodded and Kise gave a sigh of relief immediately. Midorima's punishment would probably go something along the lines of driving a rickshaw for miles to find lucky items. How did Takao put up with it?

"Next, Aominecchi, name three kinds of blood vessels." Kise decided he would go with something safe seeing as his knowledge was nowhere near as extensive as some of the others.

"Arteries, veins and err… was it caterpillars or something?"

["Before we move on, Midorima would like to break the fourth wall for a couple of moments to bring you facts."

"The vessel Aomine is trying to refer to is the capillary."

"Thank you. Now back to the story."]

Naturally, such a statement shocked everyone else. The words might sound similar but caterpillars were insects! The mental image of caterpillars squirming around in a human body left gave the other members the chills. But there was one plus side to having Aomine answering wrongly, he would be the first victim of the punishment game. First blood, as some people would say. They couldn't help feeling slightly excited.

"Papa, why are there so many people in the house."

Sitting on the bed was one sleepy Ryouta who was still rubbing away layers of sleep from his eyes. Aomine had nearly forgotten about him who had been buried under the blankets and pillows. No one had paid any attention to the insignificant looking bump on the bed.

Ryouta clambered down the bed and made his way to the comfort of his father's lap. "Ah, Mama came over too!" He went out of his way to greet the person whom he considered to be his mother with a hug.

"Then this is Ryouta?" Akashi asked although he already knew.

Before Aomine could answer, Ryouta already launched into a self-introduction. "My name is Kise, Kise Ryouta. I'm five and I go to Teikou kindergarten, Sunshine class."

The people who have yet to learn of what's going on stared, questions flying a thousand miles per hour in their heads. Midorima recognised this child as the one Aomine was carrying with him during the cultural festival. He also found out later from an unhappy Akashi, about his embarrassing misunderstanding of the situation.

"Aomine, you have a child?" Kagami cut the to the chaste and blurted out the question which had been occupying his head since he first laid eyes on the blond child. Aomine lapsed into an explanation, one he had already said twice such that it felt more like a recitation than anything.

Meanwhile Ryouta stood on Kise's thighs barely keeping his balance as he concentrated his focus on Kise's chest. Something has been bugging him for a while now, ever since he went to kindergarten that is. There was something about his mother that wasn't the same as the other kids' mothers.

"Mama, why don't you have those lumps on your chest like Ryoucchi's mama?"

Kise turned a lovely shade of scarlet. Then, he took notice of Midorima and his bandaged hands and totted over to the green head. "Do your hands hurt a lot?"

"No they do not, I protect them this way."

Ryouta didn't really buy it but he candy and five year olds are drawn to candy like magnets. "Can I have one?" He looked up at Murasakibara with puppy eyes.

Murasakibara was by no means stingy when it came to food so he dug into his bag and pulled out a whole bagful of chocolate mints.

"You can't eat sweets before breakfast and you haven't brushed your teeth." Kise protested immediately, motherly instincts kicking in at full throttle.

Kagami laughed, he for one found the whole situation amusing. Mainly because Aomine was having problems. Kuroko on the other hand was finding this to be a rather hard pill to swallow so he sat back and watched as the events unfolded. Akashi, feeling curious, decided he would enjoy the moment.

"But I want to."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"Ok let's go get your teeth brushed." And Kise was off carrying a very confused looking Ryouta towards the bathroom. Of course Kise then found out that Aomine had no toothbrushes for him and that he hasn't been brushing for the entire week he's been at his place. With that, the first punishment of the day was Kise sending Aomine to the nearest convenience store to buy Ryouta a toothbrush. Anti-climactic much?

* * *

Chemistry

* * *

After lunch, they revised their third topic of the day- chemistry. Judging by their luck they had more or less prepared for something to go wrong somewhere. Ryouta was told by his father that they were doing something serious and he was currently sprawled on the floor drawing a picture with crayons, keeping quiet in general.

Kuroko suddenly recalled having to supposedly increase Aomine and Kise's current relationship level, with everything that has happened so far, he had completely forgotten. From the looks of it, the rest didn't remember that either.

"Mhmmm hey guys, thinking about it isn't it possible to create hydrochloric acid at home?" Kise suddenly raised the issue while flipping through his notes on organic chemistry.

The 'guys' being referred to looked up from their textbooks to stare at the blond, crossing their fingers in hopes that he would not say something ridiculous.

"How?" Akashi challenged.

"Fart contains methane. Methane is an alkane so if you collect fart in a jar, we're collecting methane. Methane, which is an ethane, undergoes substitution substation reaction with chlorine in the presence of light to form hydrogen chloride gas as a by-product. Then, by dissolving the HCL gas, we can obtain hydrochloric acid."

Everyone was pretty certain that was impossible, there were many problems faced if attempting to do something stupid like this.

This time though, before Akashi could whip out his scissors, Kuroko intervened sending Aomine and Kise out for drinks and snacks. He reasoned that Aomine was, however involuntarily, the host and Kise had just said something stupid.

By some strange miracle, there was not a single drink to be found within the household. Of course not, Murasakibara hadn't been snooping aroud the kitchen without good reason. The two were then forced to go to the store to buy some things back for the rest.

The other members had just remembered their purpose and silently thanked Kuroko for remembering. Two people out on a sort of but not really convenience store date should work.

"But Kagami kun, you sure were stupid back there."

Kagami twitched at the insult. Ryouta done with his drawing, approached the group of people sitting around the table and started chatting with them. All was well as they waited for the duo to come back.

Of course, things didn't go very much their way and the two came back exactly the way they had left. Well, not exactly Aomine was looking slightly angry. Either, Kise was being blur again or someone at the store was also interested.

Ryouta jumped to greet his parents showing them the picture he had completed while they were not around. It wasn't particularly beautiful; as good as any other five year old would have done it. The proportions were not accurate, the colouring wasn't even or correct and he obviously applied too much pressure at the corners but it was a family portrait nonetheless. With tons of constructive advice from his lovely uncles thrown into the mix, mostly the portion about putting Kise in a gorgeous white wedding dress. A lovely image of domestic bliss.

"Ryouta, human skin isn't supposed to be so colourful."

Slap. Went the palm as it connected to the forehead in frustration. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap.

* * *

A/N: Hey pretty late update because my homework pile has exponentially increased from 'Woah" to Mount Everest. Self-betaed pardon mistakes, it is late. Also, I will basically be churning out bonding time stories and things along that line for a while. Ryoucchi is a made up classmate. All the education related jokes are inspired by true life events. That's all I got. Comments and constructive criticisms still appreciated.

EDIT (23/06/13): I edited the ending of this chapter because I wasn't happy with it. Now bear with me as I try to produce chapter six from my sleep deprived mind.


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